The Grief Playlist

Since December 2009 I had been traveling through an intense personal storm and I have finally emerged.  I can easily sit on the grass and enjoy the sunshine now.  I even caught myself humming happily while shopping this afternoon.  So what I have for you now is a playlist that took over a year to create, but here it is an offer to anyone going though trouble (KE!)

Basically this is just a list of songs for depressing situations that either allow you to wallow, connect, or move on.  I'm doing this because everyone needs a song that fits them when their down :)  And one of the things I've learned through a year of a broken heart, a death, and a broken friendship...is that music touches your soul.
Break Ups:
Forget You by Cee Lo Green

Breathe by Taylor Swift
Cryin by Aerosmith
Thinkin' About Something (a great moving on song) by Hanson

So What by Pink
White Horse by Taylor Swift
Hit 'Em Up Style by Blu Cantrell
Undo It by Carrie Underwood
Ridin' Solo by Jason Derulo -enjoy it!

Negative Influences:
Not Afraid by Eminem -I really can't express how personally touching this song is.  It reminds you of how strong you really and regardless of what you're fighting, you've gotta bite back the fear and face it.  And it's when you're going through this that your friends show their true selves.

No Love By Eminem feat. Lil' Wayne
Just Like A Pill by Pink 
Backstabber by Ke$ha


Lost Friendships:  I read somewhere once that losing your best friend can be equivalent to a divorce on a person emotionally.
Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

 

Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson

You're Not Sorry by Taylor Swift
For Good from Wicked -because no matter how upset you may be at each other, in the end you still love what you had and you still care about your best friend

Death:

Glitter in the Air by Pink -this song has nothing to do with death, but for some reason the picture of life in this song is comforting after losing someone

I Dreamed a Dream from Les Misrables

My Immortal by Evanescene

The Best Day by Taylor Swift

Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamikawiwo'ole

Misc.:

Sober by Pink  -this a great song to have on hand when dealing with yourself being the culprit

Nobody Knows by Pink -if you write, sing, dance, draw...whatever and you loose your inner voice, this is a great song
Thank Goodness from Wicked  -when you're lying to yourself  
Defying Gravity from Wicked -for when you are ready to move on from anything and trust yourself
F'kin Perfect by Pink -my friend told me after listening to this song that she feels that this is what God is always saying to us.

Ok, so I know that this isn't a real blog...but I love music on days when I can't seem to express myself, or when I song takes the words right out of my mouth.  And now that I'm sitting in the sun and sitting pretty I thought I'd share my old playlist for my friends that are going their own difficult time :)

5K Training- Installment One

My boss convinced me to sign up for my very first 5K. 

Now let’s get one thing straight:  I don’t like to run.  I almost resent the entire act itself.  I often find myself driving past these people that are running at 7:30 AM and my immediate thought is “Who do they think they are?  With their fancy shoes and spandex pants?  Out running around like they’re so much better than everybody else because they run.  Ridiculous.  Everyone can run—it is God’s way of allowing you to escape from the dog next door, the cops, or to avoid your ex-boyfriend at the mall.  It is by no means something to show off about.

But let’s be honest—well, let me honest.  I feel this way because I can’t run.  There I said it.  Go ahead, laugh and taunt me (for I am rubber and you are glue; everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. Oooooo snap.)  So when the opportunity came up to be sponsored, I decided that no longer would I be the walker.  I would be the runner.  Life is full of so many amazing opportunities and chances to do stuff to better yourself, and lately I’ve been trying to grab every single one of them.  Besides…how hard could it be?

Day 1 of Training:

AF and I decided to join a tae kwon do kickboxing class; I’ve done kickboxing before, but no where near to this extent.  This was hard core serious kickboxing—and I do not exaggerate: the instructor at one point sat on somebody’s back while they stretched.  Yes. 

Now before I continue, I must try to make myself sound not entirely pathetic.  I had been sick, in fact I had left work early just the day before and spent a fair amount of time at the doctor and then the rest of the day sprawled in bed with a box of tissues, chamomile tea, and The Godfather (nothing compares to watching Michael Corleone transform from amicable civilian to intimidating Don Corleone while you sip on “sleepytime” tea).  Not only had I been sick, I have a bad habit of replacing my daily intake of water with coffee.  This is a new habit of mine, I’ve always consumed copious amounts of the lovely nectar that is coffee, but usually I’ve been pretty watchful on countering it with water.  Lately this has not been the case, just coffee…and chai tea. And more coffee.

So when I pulled off my socks and tennis shoes and walked onto the mat I was reeling off a bout of sickness and I was high on caffeine…and extremely dehydrated.  Perhaps I am making excuses. So be it.  Twenty minutes later as I circled around AF exchanging punches, I noticed that the music was getting farther away and her voice was disappearing…as well as my surroundings.   

Subsequently I discovered myself on the bleachers watching AF’s face fade in and out of sight while I realized that I truly had overestimated myself and underestimated this upcoming 5K. 

But hear me out.  I will dominate this 5K.  I may have failed my first day of training—but this girl learns from her mistakes.  So 5K, here I come.