Why this holiday season is different.

I imagine every holiday season is a little bit different than the last but as I approach this holiday season I realize that my life has changed dramatically this year (I learned how to use a MacBook for one example).

I've always loved the holidays...especially Christmas.  I grew up with the most amazing Christmas traditions ever.  Every Christmas Eve my mom's side of the family would gather together to eat and cut up and then in the morning I would go over to my Mama Lou and Papa's house for Christmas brunch.  I love Christmas brunch.  Mama Lou would make Breakfast Casserole accompanied by biscuits, ham, something sweet, and whatever else fancied her;  when she got cancer I took over the breakfast Casserole (with her guided instructions of course).  When she died, we continued the tradition and I became the chef...but it's not the same.  Of course.   But we adapt to this "new" feeling of Christmas brunch.

I still had Christmas Eve after all. The entire Carter clan gathered together always leads to stories that will never be forgotten (insert Merry Christmas from the Family song here).  However, this year we are one short.  On the long road to recovery after the untimely, shocking death of my uncle my family is still very much wounded and this Christmas is something I don't believe many of us are really looking forward to.

But there are good things this year as well.  For one thing, I've got to know my cousin Katie through hours in the hospital and on the phone and I've come to realize how much I absolutely love and adore her.  And how much I can learn from her.  I also realized how important my family is to me, and how quickly I could lose them--thus I packed up my bags and moved back to my hometown.  My family and friends are the same people and I felt a yearning to be closer to them.

My job stood in the way though.  After much prayer and following different avenues of thought something miraculous finally happened.  I landed a dream job.  A job that I didn't grow up thinking I would enjoy but now that I am in it I realize how comfortable I feel in it.  Teaching is easily the hardest thing I've ever done but for some odd reason the easiest as well.  I love going to work in the morning and the stress that this job comes with is easily replaced by the joy it brings.

So as I prepare myself for this holiday season (and the ungodly amount of candy corn I'm bound to devour) I'm quick to remind myself that life is short and to thank God for everything he gives and takes away.  

The Apartment

I move a lot.  That's not a secret.  I've lived in the same house since I was two but once I left for college I began a whirlwind of apartment changing.  I've grown to love packing--and I'm not being sarcastic.  I really do love it.  In less than two weeks I'll be moving again and as I pack I've been thinking of the all of the places that I've lived.  Hands down my current place is the nicest apartment I've lived in.  But it's not my favorite.

My favorite apartment was an apartment that was rented by drug dealers before I moved in and had a dent in the door where somewhere had tried to break in.  It had bugs, squirrels, leaky ceilings, a smell, and odd objects sticking out the floor that would slice your foot.  It was fantastic.  So fantastic that it's the only place I lived at for a whole two years.  It may sound like a horrific dump but the memories I have of that apartment are some of my favorites. 

My last two years of college I lived there with my best friend Sage the whole two years while Paige and Kara lived there for a year each.  I remember the first night we stayed there Sage and I each slept with a butcher knife next to our bed scared to death someone was going to break in in the middle of the night (it wasn't the best neighborhood).  One night we heard something and Sage and I put on our brave faces and grabbed a butcher knife and baseball bat and proceeded to search for the cause of the noise.  The place was three stories and had about ten closets--we took turns rounding each corner and opening each door.  Turns out we had imagined the noise but when I look back I don't remember how terrified we were--I remember us laughing nonstop about it the next morning.


The place was infested with gigantic crickets that seemed to live in the downstairs bedroom where Kara and Paige lived.  Not only did we have a cricket problem but we also had a squirrel problem.  That's right--a squirrel problem.  Imagine your roommate waking you up at 3AM to tell you that she just trapped a squirrel in her closet.  I never thought I'd ever have a squirrel running around loose in our apartment but that little fellow kept coming back no matter how many times we called animal control.  That bushy fellow kept me up many nights laying in my bed listening for the sounds of his little feet scampering across my floor.

That apartment was where Kara and I learned the Single Ladies dance, where our fog machine set off the smoke alarm and we got to try on the firefighters uniforms, where I kissed my first love, where Paige and I discovered that we have very different reactions to tequila, where we threw up black sheets over the windows so we could have a perfect area to watch a Dexter marathon without a TV glare, where I put on my cap and gown for my college graduation, and where I learned that friends can become family.

That apartment represents my last two years of college--which are the best years of college.

Tragedy and Revelations

A little over a month ago my uncle was put in the hospital for what seemed to be something to not cause too much worry.  Four weeks later I was speaking to a huge, packed out church standing over my uncle's casket.  I'm not going to go into the emotions that my family experienced and are still experiencing--it's unexplainable and impossible to emphasize with because each loved one lost is a different experience to everyone.  What I do want to go into are the things that God has revealed to me through this tragedy.

Life is short.  No matter how long you live--life is still short.  I've spent so much time saying "I'll do this eventually when I can.  What I can afford to. When I loose weight;" the excuses are endless.  So I'm trimming the fat in my life.

I'm no longer going to surround myself with people mindlessly.  I know who my best friends are.  The ones who called me.  The ones who cried with me. The ones who know me inside out.  Those are the ones that I'll keep close.  I like all my friends, but my heart can only be open to a select few.

My family is everything to me.  I cherish every moment I spend with them and I'm happiest with them.  It's time to make them a top priority.

There is a reason I haven't found a church in Raleigh.  I already have a church.  That I love.  That I intend to become more involved with as things start falling into place soon.

 God has revealed a new life to me.  A life that I ignored and decided against when I moved to Raleigh.  It's time to change.

This post is dedicated to my Uncle Mike

Chronicle/Woman in Black

"It's a short movie.  It's less than an hour and 30 minutes"
"Well, some movies are better shorter than long and drawn out.  Take Breaking Dawn for example, it should have been only 30 minutes."
And as my brother and I discovered, an hour and 23 minutes was the perfect amount of time for Chronicle.  Later I discovered that an hour and 35 minutes was also the perfect amount of time for Woman in Black.  It was refreshing sitting through a short and sweet movie---even though both Chronicle and Woman in Black were far from being "sweet" films.  Of course, not every movie should be short.  I fully expect my butt to be numb after I watch The Hobbit---each minute of that movie is bound to be glorious and well deserved.

Cameron loved Chronicle.  When we left the theater he raved and raved about it--long enough for me to realize that he was not being sarcastic.  Not that I thought it was horrible---I just didn't think it was fantastic.  I had low expectations for it to begin with and while it exceeded my expectations it's still not a movie that was remarkable or something I would watch again.

The movie centers abound three--high school? college?--kids who find a stone type thing that gives them telepathic abilities.  As almost anyone will tell you--not everyone should be granted with powers.  Because one emo kid will ruin the fun for everybody.  You easily sympathize with Andrew, the abused, poor, misfit, emo kid.   But  you also enjoy the other two confident, easily popular kids as well.  It's extremely well done.  The effects are well done.  It's just a little to predictable for me.  But it as fun movie to watch.


I had to drag myself to go see Woman in Black. In fact is Ashley hadn't been persistent I probably would never have gone to see it.  Not that it looked bad--I just don't handle scary movies well.  This episode from Boy Meets World still freaks me out:

Well, to be honest, I can't give the best review of the movie considering I spent a considerable amount of time with my eyes closed, fingers in my ears.  Or doubled over in my seat so I couldn't see the screen.  Or with my hands over my face, leaving a small enough gap in between my fingers to see Daniel Radcliffe's face.  But from what I did see, I thought it was well done.  It's not revolutionary but it's a scary movie with secretive British people and a freaky marsh. 

Daniel Radcliffe's character has to travel to this town to got through the paperwork in an old house---in the middle of a marsh.  Conveniently, you're stranded at the house often because when the tide comes in on the marsh and the road is in accessible.  Perfect setting for scary crap to happen.  So many warning signs for his character to get the heck out of dodge.  The people in the village want him gone, the house is in the middle of a marsh causing you to be stuck at the marsh except when the tide is low, and the house looks like this:

Um. Yeah.  I would never have even stepped foot in that house.  But he does....because he's Harry Freaking Potter (you're a legend man to us all---oh AVPS).

It was great seeing Daniel Radcliffe in a different on screen role and he did great.  All in all it was a jumpy, scary movie that will keep your heart racing.

the words "I Love You"

Last night as I stood with some of my family in the ICU waiting room and listened to our voices reaching out to God for healing I was filled with happiness and love.  Despite everything around me--not one dark thought was able to enter my mind.

Afterward while we talked about how my uncle has a family filled with fierce love for one another, my uncle Glenn said something that has stuck with me:
(for reference purposes, my uncle Glenn is married into the family.  As is my uncle Mike.)

"This family loves one another.  It's shocking.  When I first met this family I was shocked by the amount of people who said 'I love you' to another and how many hugs were exchanged.  It took time for me to get used to it.  My family didn't do that.  This family says it every chance they get.  And that's special."

I tell people I love them as often as possible, including my close friends.  It's natural.  It's normal.  I need them to know.  I want them to know.  But as I've gotten older I have noticed that it throws people for a shock.  I dated someone once whose family hardly ever exchanging hugs, compliments, or much less "I love you."  They just didn't do it.

I don't know how many families and friends exchange these words on a daily basis.  Of course, just saying them isn't enough--you have to mean it.  I know that my family loves me without pause.  I have floods of memories with my family that are entrenched with love.  And when I speak to my family and see them, I am 100% happier than I was the moment before.

In that room last night, I felt God's spirit as well as the weight of a family's love in the room.  And it's because of that feeling, because of the knowledge that my family's love is true that I know these present circumstances will not stop us.  We will continue fighting.  My uncle Mike will continue fighting.  For his family.  For Kelley. For Katie. For Lauren. And for his wife, my aunt Sandra.  We don't know why things are what they are--but I pray that we can show the hospital and others that our love for one another is unwavering.  And that our love derives from our relationship with Christ.  And that it is because of Him that we will survive this.

The Mixer

For Christmas my papa gave me my late Mama Lou's stand mixer.  It's fantastic.  So I thought I'd share.

My grandpa and my mom were able to find most of the attachments my grandma had and I spent the better part of a night playing with all of them.

The classic.

So Sweeney Todd

mini baseball bat. just kidding.

Dough hook

or a hook hand.  You decide.

Happy New Year

Yeah, I've been a little MIA the month of December but here I am :)  To celebrate the new year I think a slight 2011 recap is in order.

Kelley and Cameron

Ringing in 2011 the Wizarding World of Harry Potter was a wonderful way to end the dreadful year of 2010 and welcome wonderful 2011.  This trip also introduced Cameron and I to the Rockin Roller Coaster and we now have an unforgettable DVD of the experience.






Then came my first taste of a baking craze.  Which eventually led to my teeny tiny cupcake business: The Cupcake Pub.  I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Paige for giving me the push I needed.  Right in time for her gorgeous wedding.

Paige and Brian

And of course, weddings come with really fun bacherlorette parties.

 Let's not forget that the final Harry Potter move came out this summer.  Ahh what a night of fun, tears, and excitement.

 I also was introduced to the Very Potter Musical and the Hunger Games this year.  Wonderful :)

At the end of a summer filled with Sanford and the beach I bid farewell and good luck to Sage as she made the big move to Kansas. I myself moved back to Raleigh with Ashley and Anna. 

Anna

 And bought my dream car.

Phoenix

2011 was the year of several road trips, including a couple of trips to Busch Gardens.  Trips that filled with roller coasters, scarecrows, hotels, and freezing our butts off.

Ashley, Emily, Kelley

Busch Gardens hit Ashley and I just right.  I'm slowly pushing her towards roller coasters--even if I have to drag her kicking and screaming on every ride.  She'll learn to love it.  I also got to spend a lot of time with Kelley on these trips which I think was wonderful. In fact, this year in general led to many opportunities to grow closer with Kelley and Cameron on road trips.

Cameron

All in all it was a great year.  And I look forward to the upcoming year :)

25th Birthday

For my birthday this year I ventured up to the Gardens after more than six years since my last visit.

Actually, I can barely remember my last visit there.  I've only gone twice in my life before last weekend.  The first was in middle school with Amanda...the only thing I remember about that is my dad sitting behind the two of us on the Loch Ness Monster, taunting us saying that the ride sounded broken.  A second later we were down the first drop and Amanda was screaming and laughing while I was adamantly professing how much I hated her for making me ride.  The second visit was in high school...I think...all I remember about that visit was crying in the line for the park's newest coaster: Apollo's Chariot.  As you might have noticed--I was not a fan of roller coasters.  It wasn't until I encountered The Hulk at Universal Studios that I made the switch to roller coaster enthusiast (and thus began the slow climb to adrenaline junkie).

That being said, it was great to be able to return to the theme park that held memories of salty tears and frozen lemonade with a fresh new out look on roller coasters...and fell in love.  Who needs a man to put butterflies in my stomach when a roller coaster can do the same?  

It was slightly rainy and cold which lends itself to perfect theme park conditions: NO LINES!!  We walked right onto to every ride (with the exception of The Curse of DarKastle which is an indoor ride) and several times we got right back on without a moment to blink.





Sadly, the Big Bad Wolf is no more: (It's being replaced by a new ride set to open next year)

 

Then

Now

But there is this:

The Griffon.












and yes.  That is a 90 degree drop

Best part?  They hold you over the edge facing straight down for six agonizing seconds before you dive to the ground.

The Griffon is fantastic.  And not nearly as rough as it looks.  Definitely a thrill though.  We got on, loved it, and rode it again immediately, only this time we clambered into the front row.  When they drag you over the side and you're in the front row, all you see is the sky.  No coaster beneath you, nothing.  You can spread out your arms and legs (if you dare) and it's as if your suspended in mid air.  Absolutely fantastic.


It was the best birthday I've had in a long time.  I was nervous about turning 25...it used to sound so old.  But I realized something.  I'm young and have no real commitments which opens me up to a world of endless adventures.  So Happy 25th to me!
 

Fun things my friends say

Watching an armadillo on TV...
Me:  They're weird looking.
Dad: They'll be here in a couple of years.
Cameron: What?
Dad: They're coming.
Me: The armadillos?
Dad: The armadillos.  They coming.
...dead silence...
Dad: And the pigs.  The pigs and the armadillos.
Mom: What do you mean they're coming?
Cameron: Coming from where?
Dad: They coming.  They'll be here.
...dead silence...
Dad: They mean too.
...more silence...
Me: What do you mean they're coming?
Dad: The armadillos.  They crossing the state line right now.

Fun Things My Friends Say

Cameron:  Remember when we could go see a movie like five times in theaters?
Me:  And not have to worry about whether or not we would be able to pay rent if we saw a movie twice?  Or even once?
Cameron:  Just a dollar.  A dollar for a movie.  *sigh*

The World of Leftovers.

My brother and I have discovered that my parents have a secret world of leftovers.  Possibly a passion for collecting the most one portion size leftovers ever in the history of the modern American family world.

 

The one lone egg

The lone...wait.  I have no idea what this is. Or was

Two bites of cereal

The lone hot dog

The lone corn dog

And last but not least...the left over chicken.  Tell me: how much more meat could really be gotten from this???

A Tornado in my town.

 Before I begin, I apologize for the recent lack of posts.  I'm absolutely exhausted.  My days are increasingly becoming busier and busier--but in such a happy and satisfying way :)  After this weekend I should be back on here much more often.

I don't live in tornado alley.  Granted, every once in awhile we hear of a tiny tornado that touches down here for ten seconds and uproots a tree and then is gone.  I'll be honest I was skeptical of the warnings on the news and assumed they were being over cautious.

 

Well, that's a bit more than an uprooted tree.  This was our Lowe's Home Improvement

I love my hometown, it's always full of surprises and moments of sweet nostalgia, but I don't think I realized how connected I was until my father and I drove past this ten minutes after it was hit by a category 3 tornado:

 

I had just gotten to my parent's house after leaving work when my mother called telling me that the store she was in just got hit by a tornado.  In all honesty it was unrealistic; if she had called saying she was in a wreck I could have related or felt more impacted--but her being in the middle of a tornado?  I couldn't find a way to connect that in mind or to feel anything towards it.  It was like trying to picture a new color; if you've never seen it then you can't imagine it.  But when that brand new color is forced in front of you, quickly it becomes real.  When I reached my mom and grandma, the reality quickly set in...and the thoughts of what did happen and what could have happened came in waves.  I'm beyond grateful that they are both okay and I know that it was a miracle no one was seriously injured in the stores that it hit.  But instead of more of my melodramatic rambling, I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.