my dark side

I don't know if everyone has this but I do.  It's like an evil twin.  This person that lives inside of you that likes to whisper into your mind.

She creeps in during moments of weaknesses and starts to take control.  Whispers of doubts.  Whispers of shortcomings.  Whispers of hopelessness.  Whispers of darkness.

I used to believe that this only occurred because I was unhappy.  Not true.  She's always there just waiting for a sign of weakness.  An opening to pour in through.  At a moment in my life where I am truly happy I am discovering that she will probably always exist.  In the past I've been so unhappy that she lived in a constant state of control and my true self only had brief moments of life.  But since August I've taken control of my life.  I took back my mind.

But in a moment of silent weakness where everything around me seems frozen in time, she found a way to creep back in with full force on a day where I should be rejoicing.  I have a week of vacation ahead of me.  I had a wonderful day at work where my boss praised me.  I have a fiance on his way to my house.  But she sneaked in.  The difference is that now I understand myself.  The difference is that now, hopefully,  I'm strong enough to deal with her.