Once upon a time...
I was on a canoe rushing through the water and then down a waterfall with the grace of Disney's Pocahontas....and then I awoke. It was at this moment that I decided I should learn to canoe.
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| I can totally see myself canoeing with a pet raccoon. |
The canoe trip started off as a mere whim, a fanciful idea of something fun to do, but as I started facing opposition to it it became something much more. It became my own personal Everest. I not only felt the need to prove to everyone that I was capable but it also became a physical manifestation of my own inner emotional Everest I've been facing for several months now...well let's be honest- this whole year.
Not sure of exactly what revelation I was hoping for I set off on the trip sure that it would reveal itself in time.
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| They were so graceful the sun even liked them better |
We put in Saturday morning and paddled away from shore while my mother and aunt watched us float away with worried looks. The fact that I almost tipped the boat over as soon as I stepped in was not very assuring in their defense. I'd like to say that I put my paddle in the water and took off with grace and speed and felt a sense of calmness and comfort with the water and the canoe. But that would be a lie. I regretted planning the trip within a minute of sitting in the canoe. It was unsteady, uncomfortable, and with three people in the canoe we hit every single possible rock there was to hit within the first ten minutes of the trip while my Dad and Uncle paddled gracefully in their canoe. As we rounded the first river bend I looked back at the boat landing and suppressed my strong desire to return to shore and instead looked ahead and began my navigating duties. (I was in the front of the canoe, which is where the navigator sits. Yes, I see the irony.)
We spent a good part of the first hour out of the boat. The water was shallow and full of rocks that held us up every five seconds. My brother
CY would sit nonchalantly as
HM and I clambered out of the canoe to drag it off the rocks and to an area we could paddle in...only to be stuck again before you had the chance to even say the word Pocahontas. It amazes me that my brother managed to stay perfectly dry and keep his shoes and socks on the whole day while
HM and I lost both of our shoes, were soaked up the waist, and covered in mud.
However, it wasn't too long that things started to change. We began to laugh every time we got stuck, and we began to figure out how to get unstuck while staying in the canoe, and even better than that, we figured out how to avoid getting stuck. I began to feel comfortable in the canoe, comfortable and calm with the water, and the art of paddling began to become soothing. I was graceful in my own way, it felt natural.
Physically I accomplished great things on this weekend trip. I battled amazing rapids, worked my arms like never before, walked eight miles with an extremely raw and painful left foot, and battled a bear.
...............ok that last part is a lie.
Mentally I accomplished great things as well, I figured out how to mentally prepare a canoe route through rapids, improved my patience level, slept in spite of intense fears of being attacked by a slew of woodland creatures, and bonded with my friend and family.
But where was my great revelation? This was my Everest! Yes, I proved to the doubtful people that I can sleep outside and that I can survive in a canoe for two days. But what about my spiritual and emotional breakthrough? Where was my moment of "aha?"
There was none except the simple mirroring aspect this trip had on my personal life.

I had such a great time on this trip and I honestly can barely wait to get inside a canoe again. But those first ten minutes of being in the canoe scared me and I begged and pleaded with myself to get out of the canoe and go back home. Everything inside of me wanted to get out of that canoe. To give up immediately. But I'm stubborn and I stayed. I stayed and fell in love with it. It was something different and new. Avoiding details, I have actively fought changes in my life, especially this year. Every change that was thrown at me I tried to reverse it, complained about it, and made myself miserable over it. Eventually I reached a point of acceptance, but that required letting go and getting rid of some things. Despite every one's constant assurance that I had made the correct decision, and my own personal new found joy, I doubted myself. The river and the canoe was God's way of showing me something everyone else could see except for me; that letting go of the shore picking up the paddle is the best thing sometimes, despite how uncomfortable it may be at first, because eventually it will feel natural and perfect.
Lastly I leave you with some canoe and camping tips:
1. Pack matches and a lantern.
2. Do not lean while on the canoe!
3. Have a path mapped out for rapids.
4. Pajama's are apparently not camping attire. Otherwise you'll be called a fashionista the whole time.
5. Packing toilet paper is futile.
6. Deer will attack you.
7. You're gonna get wet.
8. Band-aids. Pack them.
9. Don't spill food on yourself while camping out in the wild...surrounded by bears.
For my pictures look at my facebook.