Why this holiday season is different.

I imagine every holiday season is a little bit different than the last but as I approach this holiday season I realize that my life has changed dramatically this year (I learned how to use a MacBook for one example).

I've always loved the holidays...especially Christmas.  I grew up with the most amazing Christmas traditions ever.  Every Christmas Eve my mom's side of the family would gather together to eat and cut up and then in the morning I would go over to my Mama Lou and Papa's house for Christmas brunch.  I love Christmas brunch.  Mama Lou would make Breakfast Casserole accompanied by biscuits, ham, something sweet, and whatever else fancied her;  when she got cancer I took over the breakfast Casserole (with her guided instructions of course).  When she died, we continued the tradition and I became the chef...but it's not the same.  Of course.   But we adapt to this "new" feeling of Christmas brunch.

I still had Christmas Eve after all. The entire Carter clan gathered together always leads to stories that will never be forgotten (insert Merry Christmas from the Family song here).  However, this year we are one short.  On the long road to recovery after the untimely, shocking death of my uncle my family is still very much wounded and this Christmas is something I don't believe many of us are really looking forward to.

But there are good things this year as well.  For one thing, I've got to know my cousin Katie through hours in the hospital and on the phone and I've come to realize how much I absolutely love and adore her.  And how much I can learn from her.  I also realized how important my family is to me, and how quickly I could lose them--thus I packed up my bags and moved back to my hometown.  My family and friends are the same people and I felt a yearning to be closer to them.

My job stood in the way though.  After much prayer and following different avenues of thought something miraculous finally happened.  I landed a dream job.  A job that I didn't grow up thinking I would enjoy but now that I am in it I realize how comfortable I feel in it.  Teaching is easily the hardest thing I've ever done but for some odd reason the easiest as well.  I love going to work in the morning and the stress that this job comes with is easily replaced by the joy it brings.

So as I prepare myself for this holiday season (and the ungodly amount of candy corn I'm bound to devour) I'm quick to remind myself that life is short and to thank God for everything he gives and takes away.  

Boat Dream

     It was a large boat.  I've stood on top of a life size replica of Noah's Ark in Hong Kong and it was pretty big to put it lightly...although not as large as I imagine the Titanic being.  This boat was larger than both of those boats.  Standing on the top deck I had a hard time imagining that we were actually floating on the water and not hovering above the earth.  We were enjoying ourselves--mid-laugh I felt the presence of something--I felt him.  Looking around I couldn't see him but he was somewhere close, I knew it.  I could feel it.  Standing up I began making my way through the crowd of people, searching.  I saw him nowhere.  Making my way to the edge of the ship I leaned over the railing and I saw him.  I hadn't seen him in so long and even now he was so far down that he was only the size of an ant--just a tiny ant swimming in the water.  The boat was so tall that the water seemed a world away.  I couldn't make out his facial features or even the color of his clothes but I knew it was him, my bones felt his pull and my heart seemed to be clawing out of my body to get to him. 
     I turned towards my friend and whispered, "Do you see him?" 
     "I see him."  She replied with a look of concern etched on her face.  I turned back to watch him swimming in the water below. 
     "Why is he here?" I asked without turning my gaze from him.  "Where is he going?"
     "I don't know."
     I needed to know.  I needed to ask him.  I needed to look in his face.  I began to climb the railing until my friend put her hand on my shoulder, "You can't jump in," she whispered, "You'll die.  It's too far down.  Even if you survived the fall you would land too close to the ship and get sucked under."
     She was right.  I put my feet back on the wooden deck and took a long look at him in the water.  I turned away and walked towards the middle of the deck and turned back to face his direction.  The wind was lightly whipping my dress against my legs and my hair danced in the air.  I could feel the rough wood of the deck against my feet, the splinters pressing against my heels.  Taking a deep breath I sprinted towards the edge of the ship and jumped just in time to clear the railing and I soared towards him..

The Apartment

I move a lot.  That's not a secret.  I've lived in the same house since I was two but once I left for college I began a whirlwind of apartment changing.  I've grown to love packing--and I'm not being sarcastic.  I really do love it.  In less than two weeks I'll be moving again and as I pack I've been thinking of the all of the places that I've lived.  Hands down my current place is the nicest apartment I've lived in.  But it's not my favorite.

My favorite apartment was an apartment that was rented by drug dealers before I moved in and had a dent in the door where somewhere had tried to break in.  It had bugs, squirrels, leaky ceilings, a smell, and odd objects sticking out the floor that would slice your foot.  It was fantastic.  So fantastic that it's the only place I lived at for a whole two years.  It may sound like a horrific dump but the memories I have of that apartment are some of my favorites. 

My last two years of college I lived there with my best friend Sage the whole two years while Paige and Kara lived there for a year each.  I remember the first night we stayed there Sage and I each slept with a butcher knife next to our bed scared to death someone was going to break in in the middle of the night (it wasn't the best neighborhood).  One night we heard something and Sage and I put on our brave faces and grabbed a butcher knife and baseball bat and proceeded to search for the cause of the noise.  The place was three stories and had about ten closets--we took turns rounding each corner and opening each door.  Turns out we had imagined the noise but when I look back I don't remember how terrified we were--I remember us laughing nonstop about it the next morning.


The place was infested with gigantic crickets that seemed to live in the downstairs bedroom where Kara and Paige lived.  Not only did we have a cricket problem but we also had a squirrel problem.  That's right--a squirrel problem.  Imagine your roommate waking you up at 3AM to tell you that she just trapped a squirrel in her closet.  I never thought I'd ever have a squirrel running around loose in our apartment but that little fellow kept coming back no matter how many times we called animal control.  That bushy fellow kept me up many nights laying in my bed listening for the sounds of his little feet scampering across my floor.

That apartment was where Kara and I learned the Single Ladies dance, where our fog machine set off the smoke alarm and we got to try on the firefighters uniforms, where I kissed my first love, where Paige and I discovered that we have very different reactions to tequila, where we threw up black sheets over the windows so we could have a perfect area to watch a Dexter marathon without a TV glare, where I put on my cap and gown for my college graduation, and where I learned that friends can become family.

That apartment represents my last two years of college--which are the best years of college.

Escape

I have an intense desire to escape.  Not just for an hour, a day, a week, or even a year.  I want to really escape.  Forever.  Disappear into another life. 

No, not another life---

                             I want to escape into the life that I yearn for.  The life where I am what I'm meant to be; not this current life of shuffling back and forth watching what my life could be disappear.  I can hear myself screaming inside; beating at the doors desperate for a way out.  I'm inside yelling at the top of my lungs but I can't quite make out what I'm saying.  The answer is there but this veil that shrouds my belief in myself is keeping it completely hidden.  I'm angry for not being able to hear my own desires. 

                      For not being able to set myself free. 

And I'm hurt that I'm only the one who knows it.  Others can't see me at all.  They only see the veil.  They see the smiles.  They hear the laughter.  They can't see the trapped girl huddled in the corner in defeat.  I've betrayed myself.  I've pushed myself into a jail cell and thrown a bag over my head so I can't see the opening.

But I still have the will to escape.

Meatless May...Last Day

Well, here I am.  May 31.  The last day of Meatless May.  I'll admit it--I'm sort of sad.  I've really enjoyed pushing myself to create new meals and finding ways to maneuver around the meat based meals at family gatherings and most restaurants.  So at the end of the month what pros and cons have I found?

Pros
-I hardly ever feel guilty after I eat.  I load most of my meals with green vegetables--what's to feel guilty about?  (There were a handful of unhealthy meals thrown in but hey--life isn't perfect.)
-More energy.  I'm usually sluggish most of the time; I often feel just plain exhausted.  But this month that hasn't been the case.  I've even had the energy to go to the gym almost everyday this month.
-Every dish is so colorful!  It feel fantastic to sit down with a plate bursting with color in front of me versus a plate of khaki.

Cons
-Eating a somewhat healthy meal at a restaurant is almost impossible.  If you're going with other people and it's not somewhere that is known for having vegetarian friendly recipes then you better throw healthy options out the window.  Most places have veggie burgers but with the fries on the side, you really aren't helping yourself.  I went out to eat with my parents one day and my choices were...well...a side salad.  I opted to skip that since I wanted to actually eat something of substance and chose a quesadilla without the chicken.  First of all, they still charged me full price.  Secondly, it had some the greasiest mushrooms I have ever come across.  Thirdly, not healthy considering the amount of cheese and grease that was stuffed inside.     
-Gas.  Enough sad.

I will not continue being a vegetarian but I have decided that I won't be putting meat on my grocery list.  I'll stick to vegetarian meals when cooking and then when I'm with others and there isn't a good veggie option available I'll eat meat.

Hear are some final pictures...and these are actually ended up being my favorite from the week:                   

                           
Stuffed red peppers. (Red peppers stuffed with brown rice, kidney beans, and spinach)

Stuffed Mushrooms
See the full recipe at my brand new food blog :A La Avocado

Delicious tofu tip:  Soak tofu overnight in your favorite dressing and hot sauce and then throw them in your salad the next day. Amazing.

Squash Noodles.  (Watch for the recipe to appear on A La Avocado)

Avocado, sun dried tomatoes, alfalfa sprouts, jalapeno, Parmesan, and sweet chilli sauce on a spinach wrap.   Great lunch.

Regrets

 I woke up this morning with a message from a friend of mine concerning life regrets.  She listed off regrets that she has about things that she did...and things she didn't do.

I remember filling out one of those silly questionnaires that would get passed around on facebook in college and answering a questions about regrets.  You know the questionnaires I'm talking about ---the ones with questions like:  What is your dream vacation? (Hogwarts).  What is sitting immediately to the right of you? (The cat).  What did you eat for breakfast? (Coffee). People would fill out those things like they were popping M&Ms in their mouth. 

I remember a question that went something along the lines of this:


"Do you have regrets?"  Arrogantly I answered with some remark about how life should be lived without regrets.  Each moment contains something that you can learn from so therefore you should never regret a single moment of your life.

I'm pretty sure that the answer seemed reasonable at the time.  In fact I'm pretty sure that at that moment in time--my life was close to perfect.  And I still believe that my answer is partly correct.  You can learn from every moment in your life--but why should that mean you can't regret it?  Why can't you vow to cut out your very heart in hopes to go back and do something differently?

You see the thing is...if you don't have regrets, how can you ever learn from them?
Take a moment and list out your three biggest regrets.  I guarantee you that you'll figure something out about yourself.

Mine?
1.  Ruining what was a wonderful and honest friendship.  I'll never stop regretting that he isn't there anymore.
2.  Quitting theatre. I loved being onstage and I let the world tell me to give up.  So I did.
3.   Not believing in myself and settling in life.
 

Meatless May...Day 19

Over halfway done with Meatless May! (and two weeks till I leave for Hong Kong!)  

So far it really hasn't been that bad.  The first week and a half I really missed meat and stressed about every meal--"What in the world am I going to eat?"  "I am soooo hungry."  "I want Chic-fil-a RIGHT NOW."  But I've overcome the hump it seems and I'm feeling pretty awesome--lots of energy, none of that heavy feeling after eating.  I have very rarely eaten rice or pasta and I've worked hard to make every meal mostly vegetables.  An odd observation that I've made is that I have zero cravings for anything.  The notion of eating to live has taken place over my old one of living to eat I suppose and therefore--no real cravings.  (Except that I'm currently watching people on TV eat take-out Chinese food and the allure of steamed dumplings is hard to ignore)

Here are some more pictures from experiment:

Brown rice with broccoli and asparagus (asparagus is great on anything...especially if you drizzle olive oil on it and roast it)





I tried a veggie burger at Remington Grill and didn't care for it.  It was thin and spongy.  Not to knock on Remington Grill--I love everything else I've ever had there and was surprised they even offered a veggie burger so I'm now holding it against them.  I also tried a veggie burger at Carolina Ale House and it was AH-mazing.

This one is pretty original in my opinion---mashed sweet potatoes, black beans, and guacamole quesadilla (Although I guess it's not technically a quesadilla considering there wasn't any cheese).  Experimenting with tortillas is always fun and this turned out well.

I bought a huge container of diced sweet potatoes and it's been fun figuring out what to do with them other than make a casserole.  One night I threw them in the oven and roasted them after sprinkled oregano and olive oil on them and ate then with a scrambled egg---sooooo good. 

Tonight I'm gearing up for a veggie stuffed red pepper--let's see what happens!

The Trapped Turtle

I watched this turtle the other day.  It was beautiful.  Shocking yellow stripes that dazzle in the light.  People walked by and stared through the glass at him oooing and ahhhing and commenting on how wonderful it must be for him to live there, in that beautiful aquarium.  Safe, well fed, nothing at all to worry about.

But he looked sad.  I watched as he swam to the edge of the glass towards me.  He followed my finger as I waved it back and forth against his cage.  I wondered if he had some insane hope that my finger would magically create a hole that would allow him to escape.  To escape the entrapment of a life filled with longing to be something more.  A life where he doesn't wake up and face another day of swimming back and forth in the same pattern.  A life of adventure. 

And why shouldn't he be free?  Free to roam the waters of the earth--investigating every stone and every crevice he can find.  Riding the waves and currents--feeling the adrenaline pulsing through his veins.  He should be given the chance to be who he was meant to be. 

Putting away the picture I took of him, I clock back in and stare at my cubicle walls. 

Meatless May...Day 9

I tried several new recipes this past week--most of them were made up on the fly and I'm pretty proud of that fact.  This past weekend was my biggest challenge in my meatless endeavor: Hot Dog weekend.

I'm fully aware that hot dogs are gross in theory but let us be honest here; hot dogs are amazing.  They are cheap, easy, and nostalgic; everyone remembers smothering a hot dog with ketchup during a pool party on a hot summer's day as a kid.  As I've gotten older, they've only gotten better.  Since the days of holding a hot dog in my wet, chlorine smelling hands at the ripe age of nine I've learned that the hot dog is a canvas for any foodie.  Sauerkraut, mustard, jalapenos, cheese, relish, mayonnaise, hot sauce, chili, onions, slaw, tomato slices, pickles, peppers,  and let's not forget ketchup. 

Needless to say, it took all my energy to turn down hot dogs not once---but twice--this weekend.  I attended two hot dog parties this weekend and munched on potato chips and baked beans (sadly picking out the delicious bacon).  But I did say no and that is pretty fantastic.  (I also attended a taco party and ate a lettuce and tomato taco. It was a very hungry weekend).

To make peace with my angry, hot dog deprived taste buds, I set out to try several new things this week.

I call this chick pea salad.  Super easy.  Lay out your asparagus on a baking sheet and lightly coat them in olive oil and broil them on low until they look done.  Add the grape tomatoes to the baking sheet during the last two minutes.  Then you throw the asparagus and tomatoes in a bowl with chick peas and artichoke hearts.  Add a little olive oil dressing and you have chick pea salad!

Pizza made by my friend Heather...a smorgasbord of veggies topped with cheese.  I've never seen avocado on a pizza before--great addition!

I have no idea what this is.  I just threw some red peppers in olive oil and cooked them for a few minutes before adding mushrooms, broccoli, diced tomatoes, and cheese.  It was good but sadly not very filling.  Perhaps on round two I'll leave out the cheese and add rice.

Jimmy Johns!!  Veggie Sandwich on wheat--tomatoes, cucumbers, avocado spread, provolone, peppers, and lettuce

This was my most disappointing meatless meal.  Just a simple sushi roll minus the fish.  It's just ain't sushi without fish people.

The circle

Am I the only one who sees the circle?  The ever continuing cycle that seems impossible to break.  Wake up everyday and do the exact same thing you did before.  A never ending circle of nothingness that traps you.  I sit in the middle and watch each piece go in the slow, predictable pattern.  Sure every once in a while there is a small blip--a trip, a dinner, a moment of happiness but before you know it the circle has sucked you back in.  Stuck in the middle watching and waiting for something to happen; something to make it worth it----a reason to open my eyes. 

Meatless May...Day 3

I'm only three days in but the biggest change so far is the fact that I have to fix every meal.  I usually eat frozen meals for lunch and either a turkey sandwich or some concoction with grocery store chicken each night.  I'm needing to force myself to prepare lunch for work the night before because I'm already scrambling around in order to make it there as it is.

That small complaint aside I feel great.  I'm pretty sure I'm eating more food but I feel better, more energetic.  I've consumed more vegetables in the past three days than I usually do in a month.

I made my first meat free sandwich (besides grilled cheese...but hey I put bacon on a grilled cheese if I can (-: )

Avocado, cabbage, and alfalfa sprouts on wheat.  It was fantastic.  And so far my favorite veggie meal I've made.  Crunchy and creamy and just plain delicious. 









I tried my hand at veggie fried brown rice but I didn't think it was all that great--Ashley and my aunt liked it but I thought it was missing something.  I'll have to try it out again.  I did make a macho Quesadilla though stuffed with veggies. 

Black beans, diced tomatoes, alfalfa sprouts, avocado, Frank's sweet and spicy sauce, on a spinach wrap.  This thing was monstrous.  In retrospect I should have patted the black beans and diced tomatoes with a paper towel first---but it was still awesome.   





And let's not forget the good stand by:

Tonight's meal?  Chex cereal with almond milk followed by wine---cause I eat like a king.

Meatless May...a vegetarian adventure

I've decided to try out being a vegetarian for the month of May.  It's no animal rights thing, I'm a firm believer in the food chain...the circle of life.

So now I'm playing the part of the antelope--I just pray the lion in my life, Skittles (my cousin's cat that I've temporarily adopted), won't pounce and eat me.  ps...I am aware antelope is misspelled in the picture.

I'm mainly doing this because I want to see if I can do it without breaking down at 2 in the morning and driving to Cook Out to order a BBQ sandwich and a corn dog...and I'm trying to maintain a healthier lifestyle.  

There are several challenges with this commitment.  I don't want to do this and end up eating pasta every night.  I need to push myself to really explore all the vegetarian options out there.  Which I can see becoming pretty costly.  Sadly, eating healthy is not cheap.  Veggies and fruit can rack up the grocery bill if you aren't careful...pasta and sauce is way cheaper.  So I intend to find a way to do this on my normal grocery budget without eating bowls and bowls of pasta. 

So there you have it.  My Meatless May--stay tuned for recipes, pictures, and comments!

Cuteness!

Trapped

It's that itchy, claustrophobic feeling.  The one when you've realize that you are trying desperately to claw yourself out of the room but aren't getting anywhere.

The room is dark, damp, and smells like decay.  When you rub your hands along the walls the splinters stab your fingertips.  Eventually you don't even notice the roaches that run across your feet or the spiders that fall in your hair.  There are no windows, the only light comes from the door.

The door stands there tall and looming.  A glass door.  It's smooth to the touch and feels cool on the tip of your nose when you lean into it.  I can see my life on the other side--I see myself smiling, laughing, and truly happy.  I can see goals, aspirations, friends, and family.  The other side of the door is bright and colorful--my knuckles are stained red from knocking.  I need the key and I know that it has to be somewhere in this room hidden away.

I may spend hours searching each day but in the end I end up staring through the door--watching and dreaming--until I've exhausted myself and I collapse on the floor.  And just lay there and wait, possibly for something that will never come.

Absentmindedly flicking the spider off my forehead I shut my eyes with the thought that tomorrow I'll finally pull up the plank that my key is hiding under.

The Hunger Games!

The Hunger Games.  The first of a series of three---is an amazing book.  And to those comparing it to Harry Potter and Twilight: STOP RIGHT NOW.  All three of those series are so different and should never be compared to each other--so stop it.

The Hunger Games is a series that appeals to a very large audience--men and women; teenagers, young adults, adults; readers and non-readers.  It's full of political, economical, and ethical issues that will stay with you as you read about a government so controlling that it throws 24 kids into an arena to fight to the death once every year while forcing everyone to watch and celebrate.  It's not a book focused on the violent actions themselves so much as the cruelty of the government: The Capital.  It's emotionally riveting and I highly recommend it.

And the move was fantastic as well.

As we maneuvered through the Effies, Katnisses, Peetas, and Haymitches (notice that no one dressed up as Gale) Paige and I discussed which scenes we were most pumped to see:





SPOILER ALERTS AHEAD-this will contain plot spoilers and spoiler photos from the movie

The cave scenes.  
I don't need to explain why to those who've read the books.  The movie didn't do every single cave scene--just the big ones.  And they were good.  The only drawback was that any middle school girl in the audience giggled and laughed because they are too young to appreciate it.  I'm also not entirely sure a non-reader quite understood Katniss' motivation in those scenes--and that's important. 

One the big things I wanted to see in the cave scene was Katniss forcing Peeta to pass out so she could go the Harvest feast to get the medicine he needed.  They didn't do that.  Instead she waited until he fell asleep and took off.  She also didn't pass out from blood loss as soon as she got back--but by that point she had already gone through a lot so I figured that's why they redid it a bit.  Which leads me to....


The Capital Outfits /Cinna and stylists.
Oh the "fashion" of the capital.   The film did not shy away from this at all.  It went wild with the outfits and the hair and it was really enjoyable.

Cinna is one of my favorite characters and I was super excited to see Lenny Kravitz play him and he did not disappoint. From his gold eye shadow to his calming tone of voice...sublime.






Tracker Jacker Scene.
Oh--this scene was phenomenal!  The set up, the trakerjackers, the dead body, the hallucinations----very well done.  I was so nervous for Katniss the entire time and seeing Rue and Peeta come to the rescue was awesome.  The camera and sound effects in this scene made it my very favorite scene in the entire movie. 

Mutts.
The mutts are one the scariest things in the books.  They're different each time you see them and they make their first appearance towards the end of the 74th Hunger Game.  Why are they so scary?  Because they are dead bodies that have been manipulated into a creature--in the film they resemble dog like creatures.  The film doesn't touch on what the mutts are though, which is fine--it may have been a bit hard to explain.

The Arrow to the Apple.
Such a fierce moment for Katniss: book and film. 


Rue.
Rue and Prim are the source of many tears for me--especially Rue.  In the film she is super cute and adorable and I was definitely caught bawling during a certain scene.

 
This scene was also fantastic.  Katniss glances up to the sky, waiting for them to stop her while Peeta, blissfully unaware of her plan, touches her braid lovingly.  It was a perfect display of what their relationship is at this point: Katniss playing to the audience to survive and Peeta completely in love. 

God's Timing

I was sitting at a stoplight today.  Don't ask me how but somehow I absentmindedly put my car in park---when the light turned green I hit the gas and of course went nowhere.  Looking down I realized the car was in park.  I quickly corrected this and went on.  (Let's skip the part about how I put the car in park without realizing--it's quirky and dangerous--I get it.)

But even stranger is what I was doing while this happened.  I was complaining to God.  I had begun by praying for a friend of mine, wishing her patience for God's timing in her life.  Then I went on a rant about how I wasn't married yet.  How I was ready and I didn't understand why God was making me wait--can't he see how badly I want this in my life?  How I need my life to move in that direction.

That's when I hit the gas pedal and didn't go anywhere.  I've never absentmindedly put my car in park like that before. Never.  It's not coincidence that it happened when I was questioning God's timing.  He was telling me to wait.  Forcing me to wait. 

It's impossible to see things from God's perspective.  The past three weeks have left my family with a lot to think about regarding God's will in our lives.  And why he lets things happen so slowly...or with my uncle's passing--way too soon and quick.

As frustrating as it is for me to wait patiently for my husband I need to remember that God's timing is perfect.  Maybe if my car hadn't been in park I would have been in an accident--waiting those few seconds spared me some sort of pain and gave me safe passage.  These years of waiting for the one God has chosen for me is preparing the way for a beautiful ride.


On a related note---I heard this song the radio and it touched my heart and made me think of my aunt and uncle.

Walking Dead Finale Predicitons

**SPOILER ALERT** if you aren't caught up then don't read this!

So the big prediction is this:  Who dies?
Well, Cameron and I both pretty much agree that Hershel and his whole clan will die--except for Maggie.  Hershel is not going to leave his farm and he'll die defending it.  We also think Carol will probably die, with Sophia gone there really isn't anything left for her.  T-dog has a chance of dying as well, but we don't see this happening.

Who do I wish would die?  Andrea.   I don't like Andrea--and I think there is 50% chance she won't make it through tonight episode.  But she is also getting to be more of a crazy character as the series progresses so they may keep her on to fill the Shane void. 

Who do I definitely not want to die?  Daryl.

Daryl is my favorite character and I will be devastated if he dies--so I'm gonna need him to live.  No matter what.  If we have to sacrifice Carl for Daryl to live...so be it.

Airborne Zombie Virus?
Um yeah.  No question about it.   I spent a good deal of time thinking of all the ways the zombie apocalypse could have spread so quickly.  Let's be honest--people going around biting people is not a quick way to spread something at all.  Especially worldwide.  It would need to be airborne--or even something in the water possibly.  So if it's airborne why isn't everyone a zombie?  That was the next question.  Perhaps it takes place after death.  Yes. That's the ticket.

Say the zombie virus is released in the air one day.  Everyone becomes infected.  Over 100,000 people die everyday.  BOOM.  You have 100,000 zombies walking around and attacking people.  That causes more death, either through being bitten and bleeding to death, having the bite cause so much damage that it leads to death, the bite itself increases the infection and kills you, or by other causes like car wrecks and people being shot in hysteria.  Suddenly you have an apocalypse on your hands.


 Last week we had two zombies on our hands.  Two zombies without any bites.  What does this prove?  That everyone has the virus.  Remember these two guys?

The two walkers with no bites?  Remember the obvious remarks that Shane and Rick made about their being no bites?  Remember Rick's lack of concern?  Rick knew.  Rick knows.  I'm pretty sure we finally know what the CDC guy told him.  It's airborne.  It happens after you die.

I'm pretty stoked for tonight's episode.  It has a lot to live up to after last week's was so phenomenal.  The combination the Shane/Rick duel, Carl shooting the gun, and the army of walkers at the bottom of the heel is almost too much to handle and I can't wait to see what happens.

Dark Shadows

Hey remember my previous post?  The trailer for Dark Shadows hadn't been released it.  But now it has! ENJOY

So Many Great Movies!

There a lot of great movies coming out this year and I can barely contain my excitement.  The only thing that would make it better would be if I could find a movie theater that would sell Red Vines instead of Twizzlers.  So here we go---a preview at the amazing things coming to a theater new year (hopefully in order)

The Hunger Games.  (March) To all those that don't know much about Hunger Games here is the most important thing you need to know:  IT IS NOT THE NEW TWILIGHT.  Twilight is not good.  Twilight is a lot like getting addicted to Sno Balls.  They aren't that good and yet you somehow feel compelled to eat them.

Anyways...The Hunger Games.  The books are phenomenal and I hope that the movies stand out on there own.  As everyone knows, the movies are never as good as the books--but that's not important.  The movies should be good on all their own. I already have my midnight ticket to this one and there is no one else I'd rather see it with other Paige (although if Sage could be here that would be awesome).

Titanic.  (April) Oh yes. I'm not including a trailer.  It's Titanic---everyone knows it.

Dark Shadows (May)  Based on an old soap opera involving a vampire.  I don't much about this one but what I do know is that it's a Tim Burton with Johnny---and that's enough for me






MIB 3 (May) I can't imagine this being bad.  The second one wasn't great but a lot of time has passed and Will Smith doesn't need this movie.  Therefore I assume if it's good enough for him to agree--it's good enough for me.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.  (June) You read that right.  Abraham Lincoln--Vampire Hunter.  It's Time Burton without (gasp) Johnny Depp or Helena Bonham Carter!

Dark Knight Rise (July) Nothing really needs to be said about this one.

Frankenweenie (October)  As a Tim Burton girl---I'm already familiar with this movie, I've seen the short and it was cute and demented.

The Hobbit (December)  No words.  Just the trailer.

Tragedy and Revelations

A little over a month ago my uncle was put in the hospital for what seemed to be something to not cause too much worry.  Four weeks later I was speaking to a huge, packed out church standing over my uncle's casket.  I'm not going to go into the emotions that my family experienced and are still experiencing--it's unexplainable and impossible to emphasize with because each loved one lost is a different experience to everyone.  What I do want to go into are the things that God has revealed to me through this tragedy.

Life is short.  No matter how long you live--life is still short.  I've spent so much time saying "I'll do this eventually when I can.  What I can afford to. When I loose weight;" the excuses are endless.  So I'm trimming the fat in my life.

I'm no longer going to surround myself with people mindlessly.  I know who my best friends are.  The ones who called me.  The ones who cried with me. The ones who know me inside out.  Those are the ones that I'll keep close.  I like all my friends, but my heart can only be open to a select few.

My family is everything to me.  I cherish every moment I spend with them and I'm happiest with them.  It's time to make them a top priority.

There is a reason I haven't found a church in Raleigh.  I already have a church.  That I love.  That I intend to become more involved with as things start falling into place soon.

 God has revealed a new life to me.  A life that I ignored and decided against when I moved to Raleigh.  It's time to change.

This post is dedicated to my Uncle Mike

Blog recommendation!

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Into the Beautiful

Chronicle/Woman in Black

"It's a short movie.  It's less than an hour and 30 minutes"
"Well, some movies are better shorter than long and drawn out.  Take Breaking Dawn for example, it should have been only 30 minutes."
And as my brother and I discovered, an hour and 23 minutes was the perfect amount of time for Chronicle.  Later I discovered that an hour and 35 minutes was also the perfect amount of time for Woman in Black.  It was refreshing sitting through a short and sweet movie---even though both Chronicle and Woman in Black were far from being "sweet" films.  Of course, not every movie should be short.  I fully expect my butt to be numb after I watch The Hobbit---each minute of that movie is bound to be glorious and well deserved.

Cameron loved Chronicle.  When we left the theater he raved and raved about it--long enough for me to realize that he was not being sarcastic.  Not that I thought it was horrible---I just didn't think it was fantastic.  I had low expectations for it to begin with and while it exceeded my expectations it's still not a movie that was remarkable or something I would watch again.

The movie centers abound three--high school? college?--kids who find a stone type thing that gives them telepathic abilities.  As almost anyone will tell you--not everyone should be granted with powers.  Because one emo kid will ruin the fun for everybody.  You easily sympathize with Andrew, the abused, poor, misfit, emo kid.   But  you also enjoy the other two confident, easily popular kids as well.  It's extremely well done.  The effects are well done.  It's just a little to predictable for me.  But it as fun movie to watch.


I had to drag myself to go see Woman in Black. In fact is Ashley hadn't been persistent I probably would never have gone to see it.  Not that it looked bad--I just don't handle scary movies well.  This episode from Boy Meets World still freaks me out:

Well, to be honest, I can't give the best review of the movie considering I spent a considerable amount of time with my eyes closed, fingers in my ears.  Or doubled over in my seat so I couldn't see the screen.  Or with my hands over my face, leaving a small enough gap in between my fingers to see Daniel Radcliffe's face.  But from what I did see, I thought it was well done.  It's not revolutionary but it's a scary movie with secretive British people and a freaky marsh. 

Daniel Radcliffe's character has to travel to this town to got through the paperwork in an old house---in the middle of a marsh.  Conveniently, you're stranded at the house often because when the tide comes in on the marsh and the road is in accessible.  Perfect setting for scary crap to happen.  So many warning signs for his character to get the heck out of dodge.  The people in the village want him gone, the house is in the middle of a marsh causing you to be stuck at the marsh except when the tide is low, and the house looks like this:

Um. Yeah.  I would never have even stepped foot in that house.  But he does....because he's Harry Freaking Potter (you're a legend man to us all---oh AVPS).

It was great seeing Daniel Radcliffe in a different on screen role and he did great.  All in all it was a jumpy, scary movie that will keep your heart racing.

Guest Post: Fear

As you may recall, I challenged my friend AJ to write a devotion last week.  I also challenged myself to complete my character profiles--I did not do this.  But in my defense, I'm in crisis mode with my family and my mind is not fully devoted to anything besides prayer and family.  However, AJ completed the challenge.  And here is her wonderful devotional:

Today I want to talk about the F word.  Oh yeah, I’m going there.  It’s the ugliest four letter word you can think of.  Okay, ready?  Here it goes…

FEAR.

At some point, we’ve all been scared of something.  As children we are scared of monsters under the bed, the boogeyman in the closet, or in the case of one of my nieces…the tooth fairy.  J  But as we grow, fear begins to take on a more real form in our lives.

Have you ever let the fear of failing keep you from going after something you wanted?  Maybe it’s a new job, or trying to reach your goal weight (boy have I failed at this one a time or two…or ten), or maybe you’ve been holding off on dating someone new because you are fearful of what a new relationship could bring. 

We often let it {fear} paralyze us from pursing our goals because we have a fear of failing.  I look back on my life so far and already I see many times where I have let the fear of failing stop me.  I didn’t try out for the dance team for the first 3 years of high school because I was scared.  Scared of what? I was hesitant to even tell people that I was thinking of starting a side business because I was scared of it failing.  If we let fear stop us from everything, nothing in our lives will ever get accomplished!

 But not after today.  No more.  Yeah, I know…easier said than done, right? 

But friends, today I have great news.  There’s someone who wants to take all our fears and worry away!  He wants us to completely and utterly TRUST in Him.  To not even worry about that new job, that diet, or that new relationship.  Know why?  Because He already knows how it turns out.  J  He has a plan for you, for me, and He doesn’t want our FEAR of failure to stop us from pursuing His will for us.  Oh yeah, by now you know who I’m talking about…God. 

No more will fear stop us.  After today I want you to take the F word, FEAR, out of your vocabulary.  Two verses I leave with you today:

Jeremiah 29:11-  For I know the plans I have you, says the Lord.  Plans for good and not for evil,           to give you a future and a hope. (NLT)

Mark 11:24- I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours. (NLT)

I don’t know what fear you’re battling with today friend, but I know that if you truly give it up to God and trust in Him and His will, you will be blessed.  I encourage you to replace the word fear with another F word.  You’ve probably heard it a time or two…

FAITH.  J

Blessings,

Amanda