God's Timing

I was sitting at a stoplight today.  Don't ask me how but somehow I absentmindedly put my car in park---when the light turned green I hit the gas and of course went nowhere.  Looking down I realized the car was in park.  I quickly corrected this and went on.  (Let's skip the part about how I put the car in park without realizing--it's quirky and dangerous--I get it.)

But even stranger is what I was doing while this happened.  I was complaining to God.  I had begun by praying for a friend of mine, wishing her patience for God's timing in her life.  Then I went on a rant about how I wasn't married yet.  How I was ready and I didn't understand why God was making me wait--can't he see how badly I want this in my life?  How I need my life to move in that direction.

That's when I hit the gas pedal and didn't go anywhere.  I've never absentmindedly put my car in park like that before. Never.  It's not coincidence that it happened when I was questioning God's timing.  He was telling me to wait.  Forcing me to wait. 

It's impossible to see things from God's perspective.  The past three weeks have left my family with a lot to think about regarding God's will in our lives.  And why he lets things happen so slowly...or with my uncle's passing--way too soon and quick.

As frustrating as it is for me to wait patiently for my husband I need to remember that God's timing is perfect.  Maybe if my car hadn't been in park I would have been in an accident--waiting those few seconds spared me some sort of pain and gave me safe passage.  These years of waiting for the one God has chosen for me is preparing the way for a beautiful ride.


On a related note---I heard this song the radio and it touched my heart and made me think of my aunt and uncle.

Potter Post 3 1/3--Book 5 Predictions

Warning: This post contains spoilers

I stumbled across an old article from 2003 this morning: Harry Potter Plot: Your Predictions.  It's from right before the fifth book of Harry Potter was released--Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and it's a magical treasure--so today I'm going to post some of the predictions that readersmade for this book.  But first, a look back:

In 2003 I was still in high school.

Whoa.

And Harry Potter  was getting ready to enter his fifth year of school after having participated in the Triwizard Tournament in his fourth year. 

 

Edward Cullen was a Hufflepuff.

Remember?  The Triwizard Tournament brought three schools together for the competition but Harry's name was mysteriously entered into the tournament under a fourth, fake school in order to fool the Goblet of Fire thus forcing him to compete in notoriously deadly competition.  Things seemed to be going well into he and Cedric touched the Triwizard Cup---remember Cedric Diggory---The Hogwarts champion--from Hufflepuff--?  Well they touched the Triwizard Cup together and-gasp!-it was a portkey that transported them to a graveyard where Cedric was killed.
 

Who killed Cedric? Peter Pettigrew.  But who told him to? VOLDEMORT.  We then witnessed the rebirth of Voldemort.  And learned that Voldemort's wand and Harry's wand don't work properly against each other--who knew how big of a deal that would end up being?  Harry escaped-barely-and returned to Hogwarts just in time to almost be killed by...Mad Eye Moody? GASP! But it was actually Barty Crouch Jr. all hopped up on polyjuice potion. 

The point being that this was a huge moment in the series.  This was the moment that Voldemort returned to power.  This was the moment that forced Harry Potter to grow up.  This was the moment that told the readers--anyone can and will die.  So naturally everyone was on edge waiting for fifth book.  Waiting and guessing about what would happen.  So below are some predictions from 2003:

Who will die?

       Ironically it seems that Sirius dying was the farthest from anyone's mind.  In fact he wasn't even on the poll this site did.  They asked readers who would die in The Order of the Phoenix--below are the choices, results, and I added when they actually died.

--Professor McGonagal...5.15% (Survived--eventually became headmistress)

--Professor Snape... 9.94%  (Died in the last book)

--Hermione...5.08% (Survived--married Ron)

--Rom...7.99% (Survived--married Hermione)

--Hagrid...36.44% (Survived)

--Professor Dumbledore...30.65% (Died in the sixth book)

--Draco...4.74% (Survived)

So it seems that Hagrid and Dumbledore were the most favored to die...Dumbledore dying was always on my least likely to die least while reading the series.  

It was also predicted that Dumbledore would die and Snape would become the new headmaster and lead the fight against Voldemort.  This was a great prediction because it holds a ton of truth, just a little early and only slightly off.

Voldemort is Harry's father

This was a very common predication for several years until JKR finally put and end to it decalring that Voldemort is NOT Harry's father.  Come on guys...Harry has a nose and Voldemort doesn't.

Dumbledore is a Death Eater

Cool predication. Untrue.  But cool.  This prediction got it's ground from the line in the fourth book where Harry tells Dumbledore that Voldemort can touch him now and then there is flash of triumph in Dumbledore's eyes.  This was a huge line in the book.  I personally obsessed over what it could mean and we didn't find out until the end of the series.  But it did not mean that Dumbledore is a death eater.  

Ron and Hermione get together

Oh...that was always a constant prediction.  Except for the Hermine/Harry people (I'm talking to you Emily!)

Ginny becomes important

Well I guess so.

Something is up with Neville. Not sure what.  But something.

Great prediction and we did learn about Neville in the fifth book.

I hope you enjoy this look back into the past brought to you by my friend Google!

 

 

HP and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 *SPOILERS*

I am unbelievably excited and stoked about this movie.  I've been reading these books since the first one came out and my life hasn't been the same since.  Reading and involving yourself in a series for 12 years is huge--at the age of 24, that's over half my life.  So these characters have become like family, I know them inside and out.  So as I prepared myself for the final installment of the movies here is a list of the top five things I was most looking forward to seeing on screen:

(this was a hard list to write.  I want to see everything and my excitement is borderline uncontainable)
THIS LIST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS!!! DO NO READ UNLESS YOU'VE READ THE BOOKS!!!!

5. Hermione as Bellatrix-just because :)

 

***SPOILER*** 

4. Ron and Hermione's kiss--this kiss was moved to a different location than in the book-and it worked better.

3. Neville Longbottom.  Anything Neville. The latter part of the book becomes Neville's time to shine.  His character was always one to be laughed at most of the time due to his constant clumsiness and inability to really show his bravery.  But as the series progressed Neville became more and more comfortable with himself...and when the trio return to Hogwarts he has taken the reigns in heading up the Hogwarts riot against Voldemort and Snape.  He is brave and strong and the movies don't skip any part of that.  He steals almost every scene he is in and makes you root for him with all your might.

***SPOILER***

2.  Harry facing death with his head held high.  This one of the most torturous chapters in the books for me to read.  My heart pumped alongside Harry's and I wept.  The movie has no way at all to even come close to reaching the bar set by this scene in the books--but they tried their hardest and I still enjoyed it.  There are some things in books that no movie will ever be able to achieve.

 
1. Snape.  Oh my dearly loved Severus Snape.  I have maintained a vow of faithfulness to Snape since day one.  Yes--he has made me angry many times...but I've always believed he was good (just a bit mean and cheeky).  Learning his back story was a highlight of the series for me and I had high expectations for that scene in the movie.---I was not disappointed.  True, they left out some things but they did a wonderful job at showing Snape's true colors and it was beautifully done.  His death was gruesome and hard to watch but his final words were wonderful.   It was the highlight of the movie.  To my dear Snape:  I love you.

Surprising Scene: 

I've never been crazy about the Gringotts scene...no reason-just didn't care for it all that much.  It was one of my top five favorites in the movie.  Kudos.

I loved the movie, I liked Part 1 better but I'm probably in the minority.  Every second of this movie left me on the edge of my seat and crying for a good half of it. 

This will not be my last Harry Potter post.  I read the first book 12 years ago--these characters will always be a part of me.

We went and saw this movie at 2:45 AM...what happens when you are awake at that time?  You get faces like this:

Happy Friday!

I really like posting music videos on Fridays.

If I Die Young by The Band Perry

The Grief Playlist

Since December 2009 I had been traveling through an intense personal storm and I have finally emerged.  I can easily sit on the grass and enjoy the sunshine now.  I even caught myself humming happily while shopping this afternoon.  So what I have for you now is a playlist that took over a year to create, but here it is an offer to anyone going though trouble (KE!)

Basically this is just a list of songs for depressing situations that either allow you to wallow, connect, or move on.  I'm doing this because everyone needs a song that fits them when their down :)  And one of the things I've learned through a year of a broken heart, a death, and a broken friendship...is that music touches your soul.
Break Ups:
Forget You by Cee Lo Green

Breathe by Taylor Swift
Cryin by Aerosmith
Thinkin' About Something (a great moving on song) by Hanson

So What by Pink
White Horse by Taylor Swift
Hit 'Em Up Style by Blu Cantrell
Undo It by Carrie Underwood
Ridin' Solo by Jason Derulo -enjoy it!

Negative Influences:
Not Afraid by Eminem -I really can't express how personally touching this song is.  It reminds you of how strong you really and regardless of what you're fighting, you've gotta bite back the fear and face it.  And it's when you're going through this that your friends show their true selves.

No Love By Eminem feat. Lil' Wayne
Just Like A Pill by Pink 
Backstabber by Ke$ha


Lost Friendships:  I read somewhere once that losing your best friend can be equivalent to a divorce on a person emotionally.
Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

 

Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson

You're Not Sorry by Taylor Swift
For Good from Wicked -because no matter how upset you may be at each other, in the end you still love what you had and you still care about your best friend

Death:

Glitter in the Air by Pink -this song has nothing to do with death, but for some reason the picture of life in this song is comforting after losing someone

I Dreamed a Dream from Les Misrables

My Immortal by Evanescene

The Best Day by Taylor Swift

Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamikawiwo'ole

Misc.:

Sober by Pink  -this a great song to have on hand when dealing with yourself being the culprit

Nobody Knows by Pink -if you write, sing, dance, draw...whatever and you loose your inner voice, this is a great song
Thank Goodness from Wicked  -when you're lying to yourself  
Defying Gravity from Wicked -for when you are ready to move on from anything and trust yourself
F'kin Perfect by Pink -my friend told me after listening to this song that she feels that this is what God is always saying to us.

Ok, so I know that this isn't a real blog...but I love music on days when I can't seem to express myself, or when I song takes the words right out of my mouth.  And now that I'm sitting in the sun and sitting pretty I thought I'd share my old playlist for my friends that are going their own difficult time :)

The arms of God

I sit in my car in the dark parking lot after dropping off some of the best girls in the world when suddenly AF and EP come rushing back down the alleyway, beaming with excitement.  Pulling open my car door with exhilaration they fill my seat with books.  Nothing special.  Just books they have read that they wish me to read.

All in all, this is not a significant event of any sort.  I am often getting in and out of my car in that parking lot, walking down that same dark alleyway, spending evenings sharing stories, laughter, and exotic foods with these girls, etc.  But after saying final goodbyes and making my way back home, I look over at the books in my passenger seat and smile.

Friendship.  I've come across a lot of quotes, definitions, and stories of friendship but as I drove home that night I felt the arms of friendship.  I expected nothing out of these two girls and gained everything.  When I first met them I never expected anything out of it, and yet they pushed their way into my life bringing an ever constant flow of smiles and strong support.  The first time I noticed this was like being hit by a brick out of nowhere.  I was in the midst of heartbreaking situation and found myself on AC2, EP, and AF's couch surrounded by all three of them only to learn that they had been discussing the current trouble in my life and took it upon themselves to offer me everything.  They offered advice, a lending ear, shoulder to cry on, food, fun activities...they offered me a sincere friendship without ever asking for anything in return.

Friendship, caring for someone, is a continual sub-conscience decision to do whatever it take to make them happy.  It is loving someone.  It is an act of God.  God is love.  In friendships such as these, you can see God.  I was asked recently to share an experience in my life where I have seen community, seen friendship, that was a show of God's Love.  This was my answer:

It was a day before her birthday.  A newlywed, with a full-time job, spending her evenings teaching a class full of VBS kids, it was a moment in her life that should have been spent anywhere than where she spent it.  She should have been at work.  She should have been preparing for VBS.  She should have been spending time with her new husband.  She should have been relishing in birthday joy.

So where was she? Beside a deathbed.

It was the final hours of my grandmother's life and I was rushing home, trying to drive while wiping tears away from eyes.  The trees lining the highway were a complete blur, the other cars seemed to be out of place; the only real thing was AJ's voice on my phone.  When I finally arrived at my grandma's house, AJ arrived mere minutes behind me.  She spent the day with a family that was not her own, tending to their needs, sacrificing her own needs.  While we watched, waited and cried into the wee hours of the morning, she was there as long as time would allow.  That is what God's Love looks like.  It was not her hands that brought us water, it was not her arms that wrapped around us, it was not her voice whispering in our ears--it was God's.

So when I looked over at those books in my passenger seat after what seemed like an insignificant event; I realized that a true friendship is a friendship that reflects His Love.  It is His way of wrapping his arms around us here on earth.

Dedication note:  First of all I will NOT be making a habit out of dedicating blogs to people. It's silly.  But in spite of that, this is dedicated to AF and AJ.

Breathe

Breathing.

It's an everyday activity.  Natural.  You aren't even aware that you're doing it.  But you are. Right now. and now. and now. and again. and again.

Now stop.  Try and hold it for 55 seconds.

ok breathe.  It's when you don't breathe that you all the sudden become aware of how important a breath of air is.  It sustains you, gives you life.

Have you ever been so upset to the point you can't breathe? It sounds impossible.  How can you not breathe because of an emotion?  You aren't drowning, you're not inhaling smoke; you're in a perfectly good oxygen filled room, the only thing keeping you from breathing is your emotional state, but an emotional state can quickly transcend into a physical one.  You're broken, so emotionally broken that your mind begins quickly to loose focus on normal habitual activities, like breathing.  Your brain is only thinking about your emotional distress, your thoughts are going a hundred miles an hour, replaying conversations, watching memories dance hauntingly in your mind.  Your emotional pain becomes the only focus.  You gasp for air but you can't find it, you can't calm yourself down enough to catch a breath.  You, or a friend, has to physically say, "Breathe.  Take a deep breath."  Often your friend will actually have to mimic the art of breathing until you remember how to do it again.

And then all of the sudden, things become clearer.  The world isn't spinning.  You are breathing.

Life.

It's easy to see why the act of breathing translates into a soothing activity.  Going through a heartache you're often told to take each day at a time and breathe.  A simple direction: to breathe.  Close your eyes, cover your ears, and breathe.  Do you hear that?  The slow intake of breath, followed by a slow release; its soothing. You can actually hear yourself, alive, and breathing.

So stop what you're doing and breathe.