Dinner. With that one person.

Do you remember that question you used to get asked in English class? "If you could choose anyone to have dinner with, dead or alive, who would you choose?"

I would concoct the wildest and most amazing dinners in my head filled with fantasies of sitting in an English pub with Shakespeare discussing the issue of fate and self fulfilled prophecy over beer

or

Basking in the sun on a rock in the mermaid's lagoon with Peter Pan while I tried to explain to him that Tinkerbell has a serious crush on him while we shared a bowl of mac and cheese and juicy juice

or

Having a cozy romantic evening with the lovely Leonardo Dicaprio while sharing a plate of spaghetti in the hopes they we would eventually pick up the same noddle and our lips would meet...ahh the mix of Lady and the Tramp with Leonardo is wonderful--Bella Notte

But when I came across this question today, my answer surprised me.  His name came to me in an instant, loudly, and impossible to ignore.  I thought for sure it would me be my grandmother, a last moment to tell her how much I love her.  Or that it would be a famous author like Khalid Hosseini or JK Rowling.  Or even Severus Snape (my strong desire to get him to openly talk to someone about his past consumes me sometimes--he perhaps could have found love if he had opened up to somebody).

But no.  Just one name came to mind.  Strange, since a couple of months ago having dinner with him would have been no big deal.  Just a quick phone call and off we were to meet up.

There are a lot of people that come and go from your life.  I myself have lost several people this year through death, break-ups, and just realizing that some people don't work well as friends.  But there some people in your life, very few people, who when you feel their absence, if even for a moment, it is unbearable.

Think about this saying:   
                 Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself.

That sort of loss is not an everyday loss.  When someone you loved more than yourself, someone that you would do anything for breaks the connection for a moment, a day, a week, a month, a year--it covers everything with a dark shroud.  

But think about this quote:  "We all lose friends... we lose them in death, to distance, and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on." ~ Amy Marie Walz

If I could choose anyone to have dinner with, dead or alive, who would I choose?

Not a historical figure, not an imaginary character, not the deceased...I would choose someone that I care about, the person that I've hurt, the person I need and want to forgive, the person who has always been my best friend.

So, I'll sit at the dinner table.  Alone for now, hoping that the candle on the table is bright enough to be seen.